Friendly Librarian: Hello, how may I help you?

Liam, the typical millennial: I am looking for this book on growing kale from my rooftop deck.

Friendly Librarian: Well you have come to the right place, I would love to help.

Liam: O, thank you but I’ll just search for it myself from my phone.

Friendly Librarian: Unfortunately, we do not have mobile support for our search platform, but I would be more than happy to assist you over at this terminal.

Liam: (Internal dialogue, what the heck is a terminal?)

Liam: Ok, thanks but I can search for it myself, I appreciate the offer though.

Friendly Librarian: Ok, I will get you setup here, and then you can search the thousands of books in our catalogue. We’ll simply log on here, and then run the program software. O let’s allow the pop up – it always does that, they are working on fixing it. Ok, now I will refine our search terms, and narrow the location criteria, and identify the media, and we identify the row and shelf. Yep, there it is; The guide to sustainable, green, organic, all natural, environmentally friendly rooftop kale gardens. – But will you look at that it is currently checked out. Not to worry, I will quickly go back to the main screen, and put it on hold, O, but first re-login, and then go to the hold tab, O let’s allow that pop up again, And there we go the hold is placed and we’ll have the book waiting for you in 1-2 weeks – all free of charge of course.

Liam: Hm, What?

Friendly Librarian: I said the book is currently checked out, but I already placed it on hold for you.

Liam: O, sorry I couldn’t hear you. I just paid $14.99 to download the audiobook, and I’m listening to it right now.

Liam: Thanks for all the help though.

How many books did you read last year? 15? 30? Wow, that is a big number you must be smart. That narrative is broken. We need to re-frame the discussion to how many books did you read that had an impact. Do you remember the authors of the last 10 books you read? Do you remember what you thought about the book, not simply good/bad, but what impact did it have, what emotions did it stir up?  What actions did it inspire?

I started taking notes as I’m reading, because I forget most of the book within a few months. Sure, I remember the plot and overall themes, but I forget the impact and how I felt at that time. Having these notes help me understand why I think the way I do. It helps me answer questions, like where did that emotion come from or why do I feel this way. Most people have a few books they remember had a lasting impact on their lives, but what few people realize is that all the books you read have an impact. The tricky part is that the impact is subtle. This is why it is so important to document what you are reading in your own words. It doesn’t have to be while you’re reading the book, but then after each chapter, after each reading session, at the end of the book, whatever works. Now if you are dreading this exercise there is a good reason, but don’t worry because it’s not your fault.

We have been pre-programmed to dread this. Ever since the first book report we had to write for school. No one enjoys something being forced on a topic we do not enjoy or fully understand. This left a bad taste in our mouths, and we subconsciously have been deploying this on our own reading. We’ve carried this with us into adulthood, and think reading for pleasure means not writing about it, or not reflecting on what we’re reading. Without the reflection we do ourselves a disservice.

How many books have you read but not executed on the information? How many business books, lifestyle design, fitness, etc. It is easy to read them and then “know” how to do it. We get some pleasure out of the knowing part. This results in taking no action. We take no action on the principles, and we derive no value from anything we learned.

My challenge to you is to actively reflect on what we read, and get the full value out of our reading. I realize this means confronting your book report fears, but I promise the rewards will outweigh the initial discomfort 10-1. O, and none of the reports are graded.

The vast majority of humans enjoy companionship, whether that’s through a relationship  or friendship. Over 98% of humans engage in some type of sexual activity. This requires “courting” of some type. Yet, the skills to succeed in appealing to other people are never taught or discussed. Society decided we were born with our amount of appeal. This is not true. We can learn what makes us appealing to a partner. These are all the aspects of appeal.

Notice how they are all weighed evenly. The more balanced your chart the more appeal you will have.

For example, let’s look at Bill Gates chart.

Now let’s look at Angelina Jolie’s chart.

Now let’s look at (insert model of choice who is a bad person)   

See how you have more appeal with a balanced chart. Notice the more the chart is skewed to one section the better you have to be at that one thing. If people only find you appealing because of your money then you better have a lot of it.

The problem with an unbalanced chart is it is not sustainable. Sure, you will appeal to people for a period of time, but it will always fade. The key to lasting appeal is developing all of these areas. Here’s the best part, each area can be developed. You are not born into or out of any section of this pie. Future articles will breakdown each area, and give you actionable ways to improve your appeal.  

What I’ve come to realize is that I’ve been making sacrifices in order to get ahead. What was ahead? In my mistaken view it was success, financial security, prestige, respect. And I was willing to make the short term sacrifices and put my head down and stay on that path. I look back on the fun I didn’t take part in, the lack of being present in the moment and am filled with regret. When you realize that all the hard work you put in chasing the dollar didn’t leave you in a better financial situation than if you never did it at all is difficult to accept. I realized I would still be loved by family, and friends. I may even have better relationships with friends, family, co-workers. I would perhaps “be” a better person. This train of thought leads to melancholy, a woe is me mentality. But instead I will acknowledge the mistakes made, and learn and grow from them instead of wallowing. This is that acknowledgement. Is this another mistake? I’ll keep you posted.

The new envy is not money , it is happiness. The new measuring stick to see who is “winning” is who is happier. We used to envy those with money and power. Not anymore, now the envy is happiness. 

Good teachers are underpaid and bad teachers are not only overpaid but over employed. So it’s simple right? Fire all the bad teachers! Let’s get our torches and march down to town center and demand all the bad teachers are fired! But what makes a bad teacher? Is it the student’s test scores? Is it their academic credentials? Is it lack of empathy with students?  What if a teacher does not connect with most students but has a profound and lasting impact on a few? Is that enough? Do we evaluate the teacher with 40 students and no resources the same as the calculus AP teacher? The point is who among us can evaluate good/bad teachers? Clearly not superintendents, and certainly not union leadership. But instead of having a discussion and trying to come up with compromise, and practical solutions all we get is political posturing and name calling. I see signs for supporting the school board and supporting the teacher’s union, but have we forgotten why we’re concerned in the first place? Where are the signs and discussion for supporting the children.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away; well only if it’s an organic apple, that was locally grown, and wasn’t GMO or wasn’t near a GMO farm, or you ate the apple with the proper foods, or you ate at the wrong time of day, or you ate too fast or too slow, or the workers who picked the apple weren’t paid enough, or the machine bruised the fruit, or the farm wasn’t certified fair trade or beyond organic, or the grocery clerk didn’t wash their hands enough, or you didn’t wash the apple enough, or you know what;  just go eat something processed. 

I will be happy if I make this green light

I will be happy when it’s Friday

I will be happy after a cup of coffee

I will be happy on our first date

I will be happy in a new car

I will be happy when I get the promotion

I will be happy when I pay off the credit cards

I will be happy when I’m older

I will be happy after the wedding

I will be happy when I’m healthy

I will be happy when I pay off the mortgage

I will be happy when I start a family

I will be happy when I don’t have a loan payment

I will be happy when I’m younger

I will be happy with what I have now

I will be happy with anything

I will be happy with nothing

I will be.

One day I woke up and realized…ok, that’s not how it happened at all. It was like water trickling through a filter. Slowly, drip by drip until you have a full glass. But typically I’ll get impatient and not wait until there is a full glass filtered and pore a partial glass. Well this post, no this website is exactly that, the ideas are only partially through the filter. But instead of remaining thirsty until there is a full glass – let’s jump into this with half a glass and let the ideas continue to filter.